Where do I begin?
Oh, how about with the change in the look of my blog? I felt the need for a cleaner, simpler look. And of course, I spent many hours playing with themes and theme options, rather than writing my Retirement Test Ride (RTR) planning posts…more on that in a bit.
Awesome new logo!
In the positive changes category, I have the honor of unveiling my awesome new logo designed for curvyroads by my GS-riding, photo-taking, brilliant-designer blog friend George! Please visit his blog and read his words of wisdom on travel, photography, oh and motorcycles, of course: Gelande Strassetastic.
THANK YOU, George!
So, in addition to playing with the look of my blog, I did start a draft of my Retirement Test Ride (RTR) planning post. I was about 600 words (!) into it when I got the call I have been dreading.
Some of you may know that my mother suffers from dementia and moved from Florida to assisted living near me in January of 2013. Until recently, she was high functioning and thus doing fine in assisted living and did not require Memory Care, the next level of care, because she did not have the tendency to wander. Sadly, in the last 6 months she has undergone a significant decline in her memory and daily activity, and the change has been especially pronounced in the last month.
All that said, the call still came as a shock. “The assisted living staff is no longer able to ensure her safety, as she has increasing symptoms of sun-downing and wandering”. Sun-downing is a disruption of sleep patterns, causing changes in behavior beginning at dusk. She had begun to resist sitting and eating in the evenings, getting up from the table and pacing, and the staff found her outside the building several times. This was particularly worrisome since the facility is located on a fairly busy road, and she didn’t remember being outside.
I had visited the Memory Care unit in a different building at Mom’s facility in December of 2012, when I was originally looking for assisted living for Mom. I didn’t remember the details, but the impression burned in my mind was of the locked steel doors of that wing. In order to minimize the disruption for Mom, I initially thought moving her to another building at the same facility might be preferable. After revisiting it, however, the one locked hallway was depressing, and the planned access to a secured courtyard was still more than a month away. I had to move on to Plan B.
A dear friend had moved her Mother to Memory Care in a new senior living facility two miles away, and was very pleased with the change. I guess I had been denying that my Mother would need that additional level of care, because I had not been to visit. It was time now. My friend and her husband were there the night I visited, and gave me the grand tour. I could not have been more impressed. The Memory Care section is called ‘Horizons’ and is so open and spacious, with two wings of apartments, a lovely great room/dining area, an activities center, and multiple access doors to a secured, outdoor courtyard area with walking path and covered porches with seating.
That night, my husband and I wrestled with the logic and options, but my intuition told me we had to move to the new facility. I decided that I would call the next day, and if they had space for Mom, the decision would be made.
There are times that I think I have enjoyed a charmed life. I am hoping that I don’t jinx myself, but it has certainly has seemed that way often enough. I have had major life events such as job changes, home sales and purchases, and major re-locations that have happened quickly and come together seemingly effortlessly. For this I am extremely grateful. That doesn’t mean the duck feet weren’t paddling like hell beneath the surface, but the surface appeared glassy smooth. I should mention that I am a project manager, both by trade, and by nature. 🙂
This was one of those charmed events. The facility had space AND they waived or deferred many little tasks, Mom’s doctor jumped through hoops to get her paperwork for admittance, and friends stepped up to help. We had Mom moved and settled in the new apartment in 5 days. Granted, all her art work is not yet hung, but her furniture, clothes, knickknack shelves and family photos are all in place. She thinks it is home. We are blessed to be able to make her comfortable in such a short amount of time. At this stage in her life, every happy moment is incredibly important.
Mom on the right, with her friend Ms Vivian
So, I will close with one last, bittersweet change: My wonderful husband understood how stressful this change for my Mom has been on both of us, and offered to postpone our RTR until things have settled down. I could not imagine being gone for two and a half weeks right now, so this was a huge relief, albeit disappointing at the same time. Instead of our planned September RV/bike test vacation, we are in the process of planning a shorter trip on the bikes in October, during which we will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary.
Stay tuned for posts on that adventure!
curvyroads 
Welcome back, Lynne! I’ve missed your words.
The new blog theme/logo looks awesome! Nicely done.
I’m so very sorry to hear about your mom, but it sounds like things are coming together as best they can, logistically, which is a blessing. I hope she adjusts beautifully to her new surroundings and that your October plans go off without a hitch.
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Thank you so much, Nancy! I have missed your words as well, and hope to get back to reading (and writing more frequently) as things calm down here.
Yes, I do believe that things are as good as can be for Mom, and that I can focus on enjoying the here and now, as well as, looking forward to October. 🙂
Yoga, although much less frequent, has helped keep me sane.
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And for the first time in my life I now understand how yoga is helping to keep you grounded.
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Your mom is lucky to have you for a daughter, and you and your husband are lucky to have each other for this.
Here’s to the next curve!
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Thanks, Guap! So glad to see you and some of your words. 🙂
All in all, though we have had our struggles, we are exceedingly lucky, and understanding that is part of my journey. I am getting there…
I am riding tomorrow to visit my hubby at the BMW dealership where he now works (how dangerous is THAT to our bank acct?) So I will be on two wheels again and all will be right with the world. 🙂 Please do keep me up to date on your two-wheeled journey…so to speak.
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You’re a total blessing as a daughter. Such times are never easy and always bring the kind of stress wed’ do anything to avoid. Good on you for stepping up. Glad it’s worked out for your Mum. He’s a top bloke, you’re hubby, and you guys will make that trip happen. Which reminds me, I’ve canned coming over to Sturgis next year with my mate (long story) but replaced it with doing Route 66 with my Queen in 2016…never know, might be able to catch up?
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Oh RD, thanks for visiting and the kind comments.
I totally understand the change in plans and I think you may enjoy Route 66 with your Queen MUCH more than the insanity that is Sturgis.
You let me know where and when and we will catch up! I would love to meet you and meeting your Queen too would make it even better, and then have you both meet my love. He is a keeper, for sure. ❤
We are lucky, you know?
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We ARE lucky Roby.
Love Red
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HUGS and PRAYERS for you and your mom (hubby too). Its never easy but when things fall into place it makes it less awful because it seems like it was meant to be. I love your new logo and look. Can’t wait for RTR!!!
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Lynn, you hit it right on the head. I so believe that the universe has messages for us, both positive and negative and this one was positive all the way.
Thanks for the visit, and the thumbs up on the look/logo. I am very pleased with it as well. 🙂
RTR maybe next year, but riding fun in October will be shared for sure.
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Thank you Lynne for your kind words!
I’m sorry also to hear about your mother. Dementia is a heartbreaking disease, not just for those who suffer it, but perhaps more so their families and carers. At the hospital where I work, I am part of the team which organises health seminars for the public – these are hosted voluntarily by clinicians. We held two sessions focusing on dementia last year with presentations by a consultant physician and a consultant in palliative care, as well a guest speaker from our borough’s memory service. Both sessions were full to capacity which highlights just how much this cruel disease is in the thoughts of our local service users.
I hope that you and your mum continue to receive the support that you need during such a difficult period in your lives.
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Thanks so much, George. It is staggering how pervasive dementia is once you have exposure to it.
We are lucky to have facilities fairly close by with support groups and such to help.
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As always, I enjoy your blog! (Although I did know most of this from the other blog (sametime) ha! )
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Thanks, Christine! Yes, we call that (ST) the ‘streaming’version! 😀
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I tried to send you an e-mail, but no luck. With John’s permission, I’m publicly sending you this.
I read your latest post with a heavy heart. Alzheimers is an awful shitty disease that has struck John’s mom. Luckily for Edna, she is in an amazing home, looked after people who genuinely care for her 24/7. Sounds like your mom is in a similar home. Take heart, those rockies will always be there for you. :).
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Thank you, Shelley. It is a terrifying disease that is so much more prevalent than you think until you are impacted and then you realize it is everywhere.
My heart goes out to you and John. I am happy that his mom has found loving care as well. It is amazing what a difference the move has made in my stress level.
And you are right, the Rockies will always be there, but mom won’t.
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[…] Mom. You can read the latest on Mom’s situation and our family’s struggle with her dementia here. I don’t regret these Saturdays, not at all. I just felt like I might be losing a part of me in […]
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So sorry to hear of your struggle with this dreadful disease. As hard as it must have been for you it sounds like your mother is in the best possible surroundings. On a brighter note, I love the new look! Looking forward to reading about your October adventure! 🙂
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Wendy, I do feel as if this new place has made both of us calmer and happier. It is all we can ask for at this point.
Thank you for the kind words on the new look and I can’t wait to share our October trip!
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[…] a Retirement Test Ride (RTR) for September of this year, but that didn’t work out due to changes we encountered with my mother, so we decided to wait until October, when Mom had gotten settled, […]
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[…] treated like the Queens Divas that we are! And the month ended with a bittersweet blog post about Change being the only constant. It related the happy change in the look and feel of my blog, and the sad change that my Mother had […]
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